A Choice
by Eric-Eads
Summary: Duo proves that being gay can also be a conscious choice. 1 2  Warning: Odd thoughts on sexuality.  Disappearing quotation marks are fixed.


So, hopefully this fixes it. Not sure why the quotation marks didn't show up the first time, as they're in the text file. Thanks to those who mentioned it.

A lot of people seemed to think that sexuality wasn't a choice. That you were born and instantly decided 'Well, I am going to like this sort of gender.' Maybe they were right. That's not how it is for Heero though. Or myself for that matter.

Let me just tell you now, Heero Yuy has incredible willpower and he's able to do just about anything he wants when he sets his mind to it. That apparently included being gay.

You might be asking why though. Why would a man, who has a princess after him like nothing else, a very beautiful one in fact, decide to be gay? Fear.

Come on now, stop laughing. It's not impossible for Heero to be scared! Yeah yeah, he's the perfect soldier and all that junk, but that's one of the reasons he was afraid. He wasn't meant to be a lover, or more specifically a dad. Which would come with being straight. Especially for Relena Peacecraft, who would want the whole 2.5 kids, picket fence deal if she thought she could get it.

There was also the fear of a normal girl sleeping with a killer, who had the killer instincts too. No, Heero would never hurt her during the daylight, or even at night when he was relaxing, or even after a dozen alcoholic beverages. When he would hurt her is when he was unable to escape a nightmare that she might try to wake him from.

Trust me, Heero is just as dangerous asleep as he is awake. He's hit me enough times on accident that I know.

So yeah, that is why Heero is gay. You might still be asking 'But Duo, why are You gay? Fear too?' Nah. My sexuality isn't from fear. Well, not up front fear, maybe some What if fears.

Confused? Yeah, I'll explain. See, when I came from space, to Earth, on the mission from Hell, I was alone. Oh sure, I had Howard, and Deathscythe, but I mean that was a working relationship. Howard was my friend in an older uncle kind of way, but he wasn't a Real friend, ya know?

Anyways, once I met the Perfect Soldier, he became something of a comrade, and slowly over the war, my friend. Then he was my best friend after the end of the wars when we joined Preventers together.

There was one thing you learn on the street with a gang at your side; Friendship always comes first. So when I saw my best buddy, purposely throwing away his chance at happiness, and planning to spend the rest of his life alone... well, I have to say, I was worried.

He probably could have found a nice boy, settled down with him, but this was still Heero. Deciding to be gay didn't make him a flamboyant social butterfly. It just made him a deadly killer, with a temper, that wasn't sleeping with women.

He was and always will be, a soldier. That means a lot, especially with the sort of post traumatic that we all went through. Only another soldier can understand that. He wasn't going to settle for an ex-Ozzie though. Lord knows he'd kill them on principal.

So, there he was, alone, not unhappy but not really content either. That's where I stepped in. I mean, I tried to be with Hilde for a bit, but she was different from me. Her views, and mine, they clashed a lot.

The nightmares ruined it for us too. Mostly because of what side she was on. I never could relax around her, knowing she had been against us, even if she did eventually switch over.

When that didn't work, I left the scrap yard life we made together and followed Wufei and Heero to the Preventers. After all, Heero needed someone to watch his back. I was only there for about a month before I realized that he needed someone to watch his back more than I was doing.

He needed a lover. Now, unlike everyone seems to think, he's not a ruthlessly violent man, well, unless provoked. But that's what I mean, he doesn't get all wound up over nothing, so I felt perfectly calm approaching him that day.

"Hey Heero, I got an idea to run past ya . Got a few minutes?"

"Hn. Five minutes, Duo. I have a report to finish."

That was really all the opening I needed, so I straddled a chair, backwards and sidled up next to his desk.

"So, remember how you told me, three weeks ago, that you decided that you'd be gay?" I didn't wait for him to answer. "Well, I think it's a great example; I'm gonna be gay as well. And since we're both like that, what say we be that way together?"

Now remember, I said he wasn't violent, so I didn't have to worry about being hit for such a proposition. He even looked a bit thoughtful, for him anyways. Which meant his fingers hovered over the keyboard and he furrowed his brow.

"Why?"

It was always like him to over analyze things. Heaving a sigh I dropped my chin on my folded arms and considered how to best word this.

"We're lonely guys Heero, but we're best friends, and we still got each other. Why be two lonely guy friends when we can be two content boyfriends? We'll share an apartment, share a bed, and just hang out whenever we feel like it."

He was quiet for so long that I would almost assume he'd ignored me, if he had started to type again. There was no clacking of keys though, he just sat there.

"I don't think I could let someone fuck me, Duo."

Well, that was very straight to the point, very Heero as well. At least we were already headed in the right direction, he was talking about how he felt and his boundaries.

"Well, you know that I did some stuff that I'm not really Proud of per say when I was young, guys gotta eat though, ya' know. But it wasn't all bad, and I can get used to something like that."

Again, that assessing look, and now he was eyeing my chin, the stubble there. I was still young, probably around eighteen if I had to guess, and that is what I went by anyways, but couldn't be positive. I still had growing to do, and my body would take to some drugs better now, than later, so I nodded.

"I can get rid of that too man, I don't mind taking hormones, nothing extreme mind ya'. I ain't growing tits though, man, so if that's what you want, say No right now and we'll forget I asked."

I was glad when I got a shake of the head from him. I wanted to be a good friend, hell, the best friend in the world if some people were to be asked, but I had my limits.

"No, that won t be necessary. We have a mission this whole week, and reports due until next Friday. Saturday after that we can move your things into my apartment. I suggest speaking to Sally before we leave for the mission about some sort of mild estrogen treatment. Now, your time is up, I have reports due."

And just like that the conversation was over. It wasn't that bad though, I know I got a temper, but that is just against everyone else, not Heero. Which is probably why it worked out so well between us when we did finally move in together. The estrogen did what we wanted, and since I was young still when it happened, I kept that boyish figure, the slim body.

I didn t grow anymore really, topping out at five foot five inches. It left Heero a good seven inches taller than me, and it made me fit well against him. I think it helped make him feel secure too, being able to feel like he was protecting someone again.

What do I get out of this? Safety, security. Heero has tried to pull a disappearance trick a few times, he's always come back after a while though, but now I know he ain't gonna leave me behind and that's what I wanted. To be kept safe and to stay close to my best friend.

Sure, it may seem to weird to some people, especially those people who say that sexuality isn't a choice, but you know what? Free will dictates that I have a choice, and as long as I have that, I will always pick Heero and hopefully he will always pick me.


End file.
